Eat Shit & Survive

Oh Grief... this HAS to be the funniest thing I've seen all month!



Norman: Which book would you like for xmas??

I'm a bad person...

I had the strangest dream last night.
I was married, and pregnant.
And that's not the strange part.

I was upset because the dog had vomited on the carpet.
And now I was going to have to clean the damn thing.
But it wouldn't fit into the washing machine.
And I didn't mean the carpet!

Yes folks, I was trying to clean the DOG in the washing machine.
Luckily for the dog, he/she wouldn't fit.

Brushing my teeth, I suddenly realised that my "husband" was, in *this* reality, a married man!
I've been trying to picture his face... to remember who it was... but no luck.
So I dream-stole someone's husband!

I wonder which is worse... me dream-stealing someone's husband, or me trying to wash the dog in the machine...

To iPad or not to iPad... that is the question.

Have been quite happy with my iRobot Android tablet... but it's broken :(
It's only been a couple of days, and I miss my ebooks already!
Now that I find that I do use the toy (and use quite extensively), am considering if I should get a better toy.
Better grades of Android tablets are the same price range as an iPad.
So now I'm considering the iPad.

Sigh.

In general, I hates Apple. Innovation notwithstanding, I hate how proprietary they are with almost everything & every part of the iPad/iPhone/iPod. Android is as innovative, as user-friendly, as flexible, without being panties-in-a-wad fanatical about making us pay for every damn part of the machine/accessory/app and controlling use of *ahem* evaluation software/apps/books/music. I really believe in the way Google makes all things possible for nothing (or next to nothing). However, there's no beating the iPad Human Machine Interface. It's mind-boggling & shineeeeyyyy. The gadget freak in me is, as sham says, perpetually Salivating.

For the same price, I have to consider the iPad because I don't believe in cutting my nose off to spite my face. Hence the conundrum.

What Carrie Bradshaw wrote for a wedding.

His hello was the end of her endings
Her laugh was the first step down the aisle
His hand would be hers to hold forever
His forever was as simple as her smile
He said "she was what was missing"
SHe said, instantly she knew
She was a question to be answered
And his answer was "I do"

You really can't go home again

I was watching a Sesame Street DVD with Akshara yesterday, and I suddenly went still. Something wasn't right. Something... Oh no! It was Bert! He was different. I'm not just talking about his voice - that didn't make me bat an eyelash. They changed the stuff inside.

Ernie always gets the spotlight. He's the kid in all the skits. He's funny and naughty, and decidedly gleeful when he gets away with being both. He's the one with the US Top 40 hit "Rubber Ducky". He's the one who whines till Bert gets him water when he's thirsty in the middle of the night.

But quiet Bert, poor Bert, kind Bert, book-reading, fish-gazing, pigeon-feeding, striped-pajama-wearing Bert, resonated with something in me. I got Bert. So I noticed, when Bert changed. I hadn't seen Sesame Street since my own childhood, but I noticed.

His personality was different. He wasn't the protector counterpart to Ernie's wide-eyed perpetual youth anymore. He wasn't the long-suffering, patient room-mate. He was smug, almost... and just the tiniest bit self-important.
"You may know about Baseball, Ernie, but I am the expert in Pigeons." he said.

I was gobsmacked.
Holy-attack-of-the-bodysnatchers, Batman! Who are you and What have you done with Bert???

Just like kids nowadays aren't like the kids from my childhood, the Bert Akshara will know, is not the Bert I knew.
I mourn.
I will miss you Bert.