Comedy of Errors

Tonight's Comedy Club Asia performance will be held at 8:30pm as per the website, and not 9:00pm as per the ticket. I'm imagining the flood of disgruntled customers & thinking of Russell Peters.

Somebody's gonna get a hurt real bad...

People in PJ Live Arts Centre may need kevlar.

Malaysia Boleh.... masuk International News!

Those of you who are on my FB would have seen my disbelieving rant when I first came across this little bit of news about my "First Lady".

I mean... You gotta be KIDDING me... Disaster because Japan isn't using "Green Tech" and didn't perform a freaking Site Survey when building?? What does she expect, "Oh. Earthquake Belt. Let's SHIFT THE COUNTRY OVER THERE A LITTLE"???

This isn't a case of a landslide because some idiot didn't check for underground rivers, you moron. What Green Tech would shield the beach from a freaking Tsunami??

And now, she's gone international!
CNN REPORT HERE

I'm so fucking proud of this woman that I don't know what to do with myself.
Yes, I'm being sarcastic.

You really can't go home again

I was watching a Sesame Street DVD with Akshara yesterday, and I suddenly went still. Something wasn't right. Something... Oh no! It was Bert! He was different. I'm not just talking about his voice - that didn't make me bat an eyelash. They changed the stuff inside.

Ernie always gets the spotlight. He's the kid in all the skits. He's funny and naughty, and decidedly gleeful when he gets away with being both. He's the one with the US Top 40 hit "Rubber Ducky". He's the one who whines till Bert gets him water when he's thirsty in the middle of the night.

But quiet Bert, poor Bert, kind Bert, book-reading, fish-gazing, pigeon-feeding, striped-pajama-wearing Bert, resonated with something in me. I got Bert. So I noticed, when Bert changed. I hadn't seen Sesame Street since my own childhood, but I noticed.

His personality was different. He wasn't the protector counterpart to Ernie's wide-eyed perpetual youth anymore. He wasn't the long-suffering, patient room-mate. He was smug, almost... and just the tiniest bit self-important.
"You may know about Baseball, Ernie, but I am the expert in Pigeons." he said.

I was gobsmacked.
Holy-attack-of-the-bodysnatchers, Batman! Who are you and What have you done with Bert???

Just like kids nowadays aren't like the kids from my childhood, the Bert Akshara will know, is not the Bert I knew.
I mourn.
I will miss you Bert.

Please don't hold meetings in my pantry

Had a meeting in the Main Conference Room at 11am.
At noon, tea lady drops in to ask if we're going to finish soon cos the boss is going to have lunch.
Yes. We had to stop the meeting.
So boss could eat in the meeting room.
Yes, the meeting in progress involved people fr outside my company.
Yes, they heard her.
No, they couldn't believe their ears.

Daya ada. Mutu lain kira.

I couldn't reach Rama on the phone.
Called Daya to ask her for alt number. Daya's with HR, so Daya pulled out his staff file. No alt number.Whatever.
Got add from Daya. Great.
Thank you Daya.

Daya: You couldn't reach him?
Me: nope. Got a recorded msg fr telco. Number not in use.
Me: never mind. Worse to worse, will go to his house.


10 mins later, phone rings. It's Daya.

Daya: Lyn - the phone rang. So it works.
Me: Did you wait past 4 rings? The msg only kicks in after 4 rings.
Daya: Nope. Heard the ring tone, hung up, called you.
Me: So let me get this straight... You know I'm looking for Rama. You know I haven't been able to get through to his phone. You dialled, you got a ringing tone, but instead of talking to Rama & telling him to call me, you hung up & dialled MY number to tell me that the bloody phone number works? So I could continue to call him with or without luck?
Daya: errr ..... yes.

OH MY FUCKING GOD.

Thanksgiving: More on the church bombings.

Thank Goodness the attempts have been mercifully inept.

Thank Goodness these utterly ridiculously uncivillised barbarians are stupid to boot.Next thing you know, they will start chucking shit like monkeys in trees.

Thank Goodness most of the "cocktails" chucked at various buildings didn't explode.

Thank Goodness my old school in Taiping is still standing, cos they either intended to damage the church next door, or they chucked the cocktail but forgot to light it, or the cocktail chucked at the building didn't go off. Whatever. I'm thankful.

Thank Goodness, though the Metro Tabernacle Church was gutted, no one was hurt.

Thank Goodness we have a grand government who have "condemned the bombings". About my PM's comment about being unable to prevent protesters from protesting... I guess they hocked the watercanons to pay for the New Year fireworks. Cos baby - how do you think we ended up on Al-Jazeera??

Local Terrorists

About the whole church bombing thing... 
I have Jeff Dunham's Achmed the Dead Terrorist on replay in my head.

Silence! I Kill You!

A Random question

Someone: ... Don't you want to get married?
(I was at a relative's wedding. The question was inevitable, really.)

Me: Sure. If the right man rocks up.
Someone: Aren't you afraid of growing old alone?
Me: I'm more afraid of waking up with someone I don't want to grow old with.
Someone: But nowadays it's so easy to get divorced... If the relationship sours, just divorce lah.

I was stunned into silence.

In chinky speak,
"Just get SOMEONE, ANYONE. Get married, don't like, can divorce mah. Easy only."

I don't have an answer to that.

Manga

As if there wasn't enough addiction in my life... I had to start reading Manga too.
GOOD GRIEF.
In the last week or so... I've finished:
446 volumes of Naruto
376 volumes of Bleach and
54 volumes of Vampire Knight
in ONE WEEK.
Or so.

For the uninitiated, that's a Friggin lot.
a WHOLE friggin lot.
I miss sleeping.

Why you shouldn't add your boss in Facebook

Got this via email today:



HOLY CRAP!
I want to laugh, but I first have to pick up my jaw fr the ground.
"Dumb fuck" seems so inadequate.

Houston, we have problemces...

Head of Department, in a presentation during a Strategy Retreat:

"... we have to take action to rectify all our department problemces."

'nuff said.

------

Edit:
Actually, I might have misquoted him. I really didn't register ANY other part of the sentence except that last word.

Petrol costs How much??????

Massive traffic jams nation-wide last night. Everyone was trying to get into any petrol station that still had gas. Several stations bottomed out as prices were set to increase by 40% by midnight. I had filled up the night before, so I was one of the lucky few who not only did not need to queue @ stations, but also did not need to face the traffic to get home.

With the rebate of RM625 pa, I need to pay about RM12/week over my average expenditure. That doesn't seem so bad... but I'm one of the lucky few who don't need to drive around for work, who currently live close to the office, who doesn't have kids to ferry to/fro for school/tuition/ballet/whatever. I'll only know true pain when I shift to USJ, some 30km away fr work.

I'm contemplating getting a motorbike. I've always wanted one, but it's always been drummed into my head that it's an instrument of death & destruction. *laugh* The way Malaysian drivers race about, that's not exactly untrue. Contemplating is about as close as I get, I suspect. *laugh*

I'm still waiting for the protest groups to kick in.

Guillermo Vargas Habacuc Redux

This website seems to indicate that Habacuc is innocent of all accusations.

Ok, he *did* chain up a dog, but it was *made* to look starving and was actually well fed behind the scenes. And the dog didn't die, it escaped.

*Ponder* I don't know...

I hope, for the sake of my belief in humanity, that this report is true. The amount of negative energy I was sending Habacuc's way is not funny!

Guillermo Vargas Habacuc

This disgusting excuse for a human being, tied a dog up in a gallery, starved it to death, and called it art.

Apparently, on the wall near the dog, the title of the piece was written out in DOG FOOD.

His statement:
"Hello everyone. My name is Guillermo Habacuc Vargas. I am 50 years old and an artist. Recently, I have been critisized for my work titled "Eres lo que lees", which features a dog named Nativity. The purpose of the work was not to cause any type of infliction on the poor, innocent creature, but rather to illustrate a point. In my home city of San Jose, Costa Rica, tens of thousands of stray dogs starve and die of illness each year in the streets and no one pays them a second thought."

My statement:
Eat shit & die.

The prestigious Visual Arts Biennial of the Central American decided that the 'installation' was actually art, so the piece of shit has been invited to repeat his cruel action for the biennial of 2008.

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

Click here to sign a petition against it.

I wanna know where I can find the petition to make HIM tie HIMSELF to a rope & starve to death.